Ok, some things I noticed are:
I definitely need more pauses between moves.
The hand change to one of the overhead strikes didn’t have good palming.
On the “twirl” disarm when I finished the circle, the bo was not level; the far end was pointing up a bit.
On the move right after that, I had the bo up too high to block a strike to the lower leg, instead of bringing it lower and then lifting up.
The first thing that I saw was: TOO FAST! It’s hard to analyze the kata if everything is a blur! I think your comment about needing more pauses (punctuation, as Hanshi Bernard would say) is a good one. That will definitely help.
Watch it again, but just look at your feet. There are a couple of places where you seem to be jumping into stance. Slowing down might help that, too.